Self-care Sushi Sundays

I used to hate Sundays because there was that looming awareness that Monday was coming, which meant back to work or school and a routine that, for me, often also meant restriction. 

Now I look forward to Sundays because they've become time I get to make my own. And to me that means acts of self-care that allow me to reconnect to myself, relax, or regroup for the coming week. 

But self-care can take many forms. Sometimes self-care means you're hungover and you allow yourself to sit in bed and watch T.V all day. Sometimes self-care means yoga or the gym. Sometimes self-care means face masks and doing your nails.

The point of self-care though, is that we're listening to our body's needs in that moment, on that day, and we aren't acting out of punishment or out of guilt. 

I usually go out on Saturday nights and often I wake up not in tip top shape, if you know what I mean. Before, that also meant I'd spend all of Sunday beating myself up because I didn't get a workout in, or because I ate like shit, or because I didn't get groceries. And I'd start Monday wallowing in self-pity. Maybe I didn't get the productive Sunday I wanted, but by punishing myself for it I was preventing myself from letting it go and from moving on from it sooner. 

Now, when I wake up and am not in the best state, I allow myself to have an "off" day. I usually try and do yoga on these days anyway because I always, always feel better for it after but even if not, I don't beat myself up for it.  

This was when I began implementing what I like to call "Sushi Sundays". 

I first started this when I was dating my ex-boyfriend. He never liked to hang out on Sunday evenings because he liked that as personal time to get organized for the week, which is great. But I often felt really alone Sunday evenings and down. I'd sit at home just feeling blah and excruciatingly aware of my own loneliness (despite being in a relationship). 

Then I just got tired of it. 

I figured, Okay if I'm going to be alone on Sunday evenings, I might as well make it mine. I decided I would order sushi every Sunday evening from there on out (if you can't tell, I really like sushi). And so I did. Sushi isn't the cheapest dinner option, so I often opted for homemade pasta Sundays, or homemade stir fry Sundays.

Point is: I chose to make my time what I wanted it to be and chose to make it time that I actually looked forward to every week. 

Self-care to me means being patient and kind to yourself when you don't meet your own (sometimes) ridiculous expectations. We are our harshest critics. I know that often my voice tells me that I'm not good enough if I didn't do X, Y, Z this weekend. I'm learning to soften that voice and quiet it through these acts of self-care. 

Today, I went to yoga, did some writing, took a long shower, did my dishes and cleaned my room. To me, that's a pretty productive Sunday -- I didn't manage to get groceries or meal prep for the week, which I would have liked to do -- but that's okay. We can't do it all and it's important to acknowledge we are only human and doing the best we can. 

But I got my sushi today and I can feel happy, at least, about that.